


you have two new notifications

by canarywrites, MostlyFandomTrash



Series: Alternate Universes [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, New York City, Social Media, draco has internalized homophobia i'm sorry, harry is too gay for this world, help these poor gays, mostly told in the format of posts, pansy and ginny are meddling, there are bets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 18:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18922669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canarywrites/pseuds/canarywrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MostlyFandomTrash/pseuds/MostlyFandomTrash
Summary: @.dracomalfoys: pANSY@.dracomalfoys: PANSY I HAVE FEELINGS HELP/or, in which harry is gay for draco and draco is gay for harry (but doesn't exactly know that yet)





	you have two new notifications

**Author's Note:**

> USERNAMES -  
> HARRY POTTER - @.potterharrys  
> DRACO MALFOY - @.dracomalfoys  
> PANSY PARKINSON - @.parkinsonpansy  
> HERMIONE GRANGER - @.knowitall  
> THEODORE NOTT - @.notttheo  
> DEAN THOMAS - @.deanfinnigan  
> SEAMUS FINNIGAN - @.seamusthomas  
> ANGELINA JOHNSON - @.angeljohnson  
> PERCY WEASLEY - @.perfectpercy  
> FRED WEASLEY - @.fredandgeorge  
> GEORGE WEASLEY - @.georgeandfred  
> RON WEASLEY - @.kingweasley  
> GINNY WEASLEY - @.ginginginger  
> COLIN CREAVY - @.cameracolin  
> ALICIA SPINNET - @.spinnets

**@.dracomalfoys**

_(a candid shot of new york from the top of a tall building, you can see the statue of liberty in the distance and there's a pale, long fingered hand flipping off the sky)_

**@.dracomalfoys** lovely way to start the day, amiright?

 

**@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

only an ass like you would boast about being in new york, malfoy. 

**@.thebettergreengrass has left a comment:**

will the two of you just stop arguing for once, and kiss and make up?

**@.parkisonpansy has left a comment:**

honestly,, _@.thebettergreengrass_ is right

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

you're just mad because you're not here _@.potterharrys_ , and the both of you should sod off _@.thebettergreengrass, @.parkisonpansy_

**@.greenergrass has left a comment:**

that's a nice picture, draco 

**@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

who says im mad about anything? _@.dracomalfoys_ i'm just saying, you don't have to boast.

**@.thebettergreengrass has left a comment:**

nah, i'd prefer to stick around. also, _@.parkinsonpansy_ , when have i ever been wrong?

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment**

and whoever said i was boasting, _@.potterharrys_? maybe i just wanted to share the view.

**@.parkisonpansy has left a comment:**

not since i've know you, _@.thebettergreengrass_. and stop flirting, its sickening _@.dracomalfoys, @.potterharrys_

**@.dracomalfoys has posted a comment:**

thank you _@.greenergrass_! and thats disgusting pans, shut up

**@.thebettergreengrass has left a comment:**

wow, tori, suck up much? _@.greenergrass_

**@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

you? share? that's a first. _@.dracomalfoys_

**@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

also, why would i ever flirt with malfoy? _@.parkinsonpansy_

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

you should be as nice as your sister, this is why she's my favorite _@.thebettergreengrass_

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

for once i'm agreeing with potter. what the hell _@.parkisonpansy_??

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

oh, are draco and harry flirting in the comments again?

**@.greenergrass has left a comment:**

its not sucking up if i'm already on top, sister dear _@.thebettergreengrass_

**@.parkinsonpansy has left a comment:**

goddamn tori, i never knew you could be that savage _@.greenergrass_

**@.thebettergreengrass**

i was joking. can't you take a joke or is your head too far up your ass to notice? _@.greenergrass_

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

if you two could kinda not fight on my post that would great _@.greenergrass, @.thebettergreengrass_

**@.greenergrass has left a comment:**

sorry, are we talking about you now? _@.thebettergreengrass_

_**@.DRACOMALFOYS HAS DISABLED COMMENTS ON THIS POST!** _

* * *

  ***DIRECT MESSAGES BETWEEN _@.DRACOMALFOYS_ AND _@.PARKISONPANSY_ *** 

**@.dracomalfoys**

pansy parkinson what the fuck are you doing

**@.dracomalfoys**

shut the hell up

**@.parkinsonpansy**

i'm just helping you get your head out of your arse and get with potter. 

**@.parkinsonpansy**

because we both know that you like him, draco. hell, i'm pretty sure everyone knows.

**@.dracomalfoys**

number one, i do not like harry potter

**@.dracomalfoys**

number two: even if i did like potter, it wouldn't be any of your business and i wouldn't need your help to,, whatever

**@.dracomalfoys**

and number three: i do NOT like potteR

**@.parkinsonpansy**  

for someone who doesn't like him, you're sure doing a lot of flirting.

**@.dracomalfoys**

???

**@.dracomalfoys**

i'm not flirting with him ??? 

**@.parkinsonpansy**

you ??? are ???

**@.dracomalfoys**

i'm ??? not ??? why would you think that??

**@.dracomalfoys**

pans i'm straight

**@.parkinsonpansy**

wait really??? shit.

**@.dracomalfoys**

have you MET my father?? he would probably kill me if i was anything but straight,,

**@.dracomalfoys**

but yeah im straight

**@.parkinsonpansy**

well, your father's an arsehole.

**@.dracomalfoys**

no disagreement there 

**@.dracomalfoys**

look, pans, i have to go. . . we can talk about this later, okay?

**@parkinsonpansy**

sure thing, draco.

_**END CONVERSATION** _

* * *

 

**@.harrypotters**

( a shot that seems to be taken from an old album, the corners are slightly torn, and the edges seem to be a bit frayed. in the photo, there are two people, a redhaired woman holding a baby, and a taller, dark haired man who looks almost like harry )

 **@harrypotters** a family who dies together rides together. #rideordie 

 

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

harry that's kinda dark

**@.notttheo has left a comment:**

but its a nice picture _@.harrypotters_

**@.harrypotters has left a comment:**

thanks, nott. _@.nottheo_  

**@.seamusthomas has left a comment:**

but please stop being emo, dude

**@.deanfinnigan has left a comment:**

like,, seriously man, its getting creepy

**@.harrypotters has left a comment:**

you guys are creepy and im not, emo, shut up.

**@.cameracolin has left a comment:**

sorry, but i agree with dean and seamus, harry

 

**@.fredandgeorge has left a comment:**

don't lie to yourself harry

 

**@.georgeandfred has left a comment:**

yeah, you're more emo than _@.draconalfoys_ at this point

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

you do now i get notifications when i'm tagged, right? _@.georgeandfred_

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

and,, nice photo i guess _@.potterharrys_

**@potterharrys has left a comment:**

thanks, i suppose. _@dracomalfoys_

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

whatever

 

* * *

_**DIRECT MESSAGES BETWEEN @.POTTERHARRYS AND @.GINGINGINGER** _

 

**@.potterharrys**

so wait did malfoy just compliment me or am i dreaming 

 

**@.ginginginger**

nono i saw it too

 

**@.ginginginger**

so unless we're both in some joint weird fever dream, malfoy just complimented you

**@.ginginginger**

oh my god the world must be ending

 

**@potterharrys**

oh shit what did i do

**@.ginginginger**

i dont know!! this is weird!

**@.ginginginger**

maybe you should just ignore it and move on with your life 

**@potterharrys**

how do i ignore that, ginny?

 

**@potterharrys**

he left a whatever?? did i do something wrong ??

**@.ginginginger**

no?? who knows? its draco malfoy, who do you care what he thinks?

**@.ginginginger**

OH SHIT

**@.ginginginger**

HARRY JAMES POTTER DO YOU _LIKE_ DRACO MALFOY

 

**@.potterharrys**

NO

**@.ginginginger**

ARE YOU SURE BC I WILL TOTALLY BE YOUR WINGWOMAN

**@.potterharrys**

SHUT UP GINNY I DONT LIKE DRACO

**@.ginginginger**

ARE YOU POSITIVE

**@.ginginginger**

LIKE ONE HUNDRED AND TWO PERCENT POSITIVE?

 

**@.potterharrys**

im like five hundred percent sure, gin

 

**@.ginginginger**

whatever you say, harry

**@.potterharrys**

i mean yeah, he's hot, but i dont like him, at all! 

 

**@.ginginginger**

but you do think he's hot

**@.ginginginger**

?

**@.potterharrys**

i mean, yeah, who wouldn't?

**@.ginginginger**

uh,, most people who have met him?

**@potterharrys**

shit.

**@.potterharrys**

i think i like malfoy.

**@.ginginginger**

...

**@.ginginginger**

called it

**@potterharrys**

shut up.

**@.gingingingers**

so,, what are you gunna do with this new found realization?

**@.potterharrys**

who says im gonna do anything with it? i'm gonna bury it, because he doesn't like me back.

**@.ginginginger**

harry, you didn't know you even liked him until like five seconds ago. how do you know he doesn't like you back?

**@.potterharrys**

because, it's _draco_ who, i'm pretty sure hates my guts.

**@.ginginginger**

you'll never know if you don't try, potter

 

**@.potterharrys**

and what if i fail?

 

**@.ginginginger**

you get the experience of knowing you went for it

_**END CONVERSATION** _

* * *

 

**@.gingingingers**

_(a twenty second video of the twins throwing an entire pack of fireworks into the weasley bonfire and running away laughing)_

**@.gingingingers** my older brothers, everyone. the true family geniuses!!

 

**@.perfectpercy has left a comment:**

idiots, see, this is why mum doesn't love you.

**@.fredandgeorge has left a comment:**

excuse you, sir. which one of us screamed like a little girl when they exploded?

**@.georgeandfred has left a comment:**

oh! that's right! it was you!

**@.perfectpercy:**

it wasn't, a scream, it was a manly yell

**@.angeljohnson has left a comment:**

tell that to the eardrum i just lost, _@.perfectpercy_

**@.fredandgeorge has left a comment:**

that's was a great comeback, babe _@.angeljohnson_

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

i would say that lying doesn't look good on you, but it's all your good at soooo,, _@perfectpercy_

**@.spinnets has left a comment:**

roast him, baby weasley. 

**@.spinnets has left a comment:**

see, this is why ginny's my favorite

 

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

<3<3<3  _@.spinnets_

**@.georgeandfred has left a comment:**

i though i was your favorite,, _@.spinnets_

 

* * *

 

**@.kingweasley**

_( a picture of harry staring - read, gaping - at him phone with a weird look on his face )_

**@.kingweasley** he's texting ginny and i'm completely sure i don't wanna know...

**@.knowitall has left a comment:**

whatever your sister is doing, tell her to tone it down before she breaks him. _@.kingweasley_

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

you guys have no faith in me, i'm only giving him advice

 

**@.kingweasley has left a comment:**

what kind of advice, sister dear?

**@.knowitall has left a comment:**

please, enlighten us, ginny. i’m curious now.

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

...

 

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

one sec let me dm you guys

* * *

 

***GROUP CHAT WITH _@.GINGINGINGER, @.KINGWEASLEY,_ AND _@.KNOWITALL_ ***

**@.ginginginger**

okay so

**@.ginginginger**

harry has finally come to the fucking obvious conclusion that he has a massive crush on draco malfoy

**@.ginginginger**

so i told him to go for it and see what happens

**@.knowitall**

knowing both harry and draco, this could either go really well, or completely fail. i bet 5 pounds it’ll be the latter.

**@.kingweasley**

seriously? harry and malfoy??

**@.kingweasley**

are you smoking something, gins?

**@.ginginginger**

nope, and even if i was, i wouldn't share with you, ronnie-kins.

**@.knowitall**

oh come off it, ron, it could be worse. he could be crushing on one of your brothers.

 

**@.ginginginger**

and i raise your bet to 10 pounds, mione

 

**@.ginginginger**

they'll get together if i have anything to say about it

 

**@.knowitall**

but the question is, will it be before or after harry makes a fool of himself in front of malfoy?

 

**@.kingweasley**

knowing our harry, after. much, much after.

 

 

**@.knowitall**

and that is why i made my bet on this whole thing going wrong. it’s at least going to fail the first time he tries to ask malfoy out. do you think he’ll succeed on the second try?

 

**@.kingweasley**

he'll do it on his third try, because the first time he'll make a fool of himself. the second time, he'll get interrupted, and the third time he'll yell.

 

**@.gingingingers**

for someone who protested against this like five mintues ago, you sure have thought about this a lot since then...

 

* * *

 

**@.greenergrass**

_(it's a picture of smol draco, pansy, daphne, and astoria - the girls are sitting on the edge of a pier, laughing while draco looks like he's angrily shouting at them.)_

**@.greenergrass** mom sent me this and i'm just,, we pushed him in the lake that day. it was a good day.

**@.thebettergreengrass has left a comment:**

that was, awesome.

**@dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

i was freezing and it was all your fault,, why and how are we still friends?

**@.thebettergreengrass has left a comment:**

have we ever actually /been/ friends?

**@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

i would love to have been there. 

**@.parkinsonpansy has left a comment:**

why, so you could have taken a dip with draco?

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

is no one going to comment on draco's lovely swim trunks?

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

i sure hope so, _@.thebettergreengrass_. and you are crazy, _@.parkinsonpansy_. 

**@.thebettergreengrass has left a comment:**

you're just more like, a constant annoyance, who i like to have around. 

**@.parkinsonpansy has left a comment:**

i know you are, but, what am i? not oblivious like you are, that's what.

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

what are you,, ten??

  **@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

also what the fuck am i oblivious too??

**@.parkinsonpansy has left a comment:**

oh my god ???

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

_@.parkinsonpansy_ dm me 

 

* * *

 

**DIRECT MESSAGES BETWEEN @.PARKINSONPANSY AND @.GINGINGINGER**

  **@parkinsonpansy**

p l e a s e tell me that harry isn't as useless as draco is in this whole thing ?

 

**@ginginginger**

oh my god he's totally just as useless as draco

 

**@ginginginger**

but he has admitted that he likes draco so thats a plus

**@.ginginginger**

oh mY GOd WHAT 

**@.ginginginger**

DRACO?? MALFOY?? THINK HE'S ?? STRAIGHT??

**@.parkinsonpansy**

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, RED

**@.ginginginger**

what the fuck is wrong with our friends, parkinson?

**@.parkinsonpansy**

i have, no idea, scarlet, but, we're gonna fix it.

**@.ginginginger**

i already bet hermione ten pounds that they would get together and i'm not about to lose to her

**@.parkinsonpansy**

you're not going to, we're gonna get them together.

**@.ginginginger**

phase one - get them to actually not bite eachothers heads off, is a go, okay?

**@.parkinsonpansy**

it's a go

_**END CONVERSATION** _

* * *

 

**@.potterharrys**

(it's a picture of a pier, water surrounding it, harry sits on the pier, glasses next to him. he appears to be thinking about something )

@. **potterharrys** feelings??? why do you exist ??? you're like school, no one needs you.(edited)

  

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

harry,, people need school

  **@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

but,,, why,, its a waste of time, g:in

**@.ginginginger has left a comment:**

do i need to go get mione?

**@.potterharrys has left a comment**

no..

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

if you had never gone to school, potter, you wouldn't have met any of your,, friends 

**@.potterharrys has left a comment**

on the bright side, malfoy, i would never had met you.

 

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

,, such a shame 

**@.potterharrys has left a comment**

was, that supposed to be sarcastic, or?

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

yes, that was sarcastic. 

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

. . .

**@.parkinsonpansy has left a comment:**

. . .

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

what? _@.gingingingers, @.parkinsonpansy_

**@.parkinsonpansy has left a comment:**

nothing.

**@.potterharrys has left a comment:**

im so confused

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

nothing

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

agreed _@.potterharrys_

**@parkinsonpansy has left a comment**

i cant believe you guys finally agreed on something.

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

omg i might actually not lose this bet!!

 

**@.GINGINGINGERS HAS DELETED THIS COMMENT**

  **@.potterharrys**

im lost???

  **@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

what the hell?

* * *

*** DIRECT MESSAGES BETWEEN _@.DRACOMALFOYS_ AND _@.PARKINSONPANSY *_**

**@.dracomalfoys**

panSY 

**@.parkinsonpansy**

drACO

**@.dracomalfoys**

PANSY I HAVE FEELINGS WHAT THE HELL

**@.parkinsonpansy**

SO NOW YOU GET IT

**@.dracomalfoys**

WHAT DO I DO

**@.dracomalfoys**

WHAT THE HELL

**@.dracomalfoys**

PANSY GET BACK HERE AND HELP ME

**_END CONVERSATION_ **

* * *

 

**@.angeljohnson**

( it's a selfie of angelina with the weasley twins, both the boys are kissing her on either of her cheeks and she's rolling her eyes, there's also the flower crown filter on her. )

 **@.angeljohnson** these boys,, 

* * *

 

**@.kingweasley**

( it's a candid photo of harry, probably taken late at night, in the boys apartment. is glasses are on the floor beside him, and he's laying on the ground, face down. )

 **@.kingweasley** the shit this idiot says while drunk...

 

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

what kind of things is he saying i wonder

**@.wingweasley has left a comment:**

let's just say, he's talking about someone...

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

is he now?

**@.kingweasley has left a comment:**

he's talking about malfoy?? of all people??

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

!!!!!

**@.gingingingers has left a comment:**

seriously??

**@.kingweasley has left a comment:**

seriously.

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

what the fuck??

* * *

 

**@.dracomalfoys**

( it's a short, one minute video of draco, pansy, astoria, and daphne sitting on the roof of an apartment building; the girls keep say "potter" in varying degrees of emphasis in each syllable while draco is laying face up on the roof and speaking [read, cursing] quickly in greek at them )

 **@.dracomalfoys** i hate my friends so much. . . why do i have friends?

**@.greenergrasses has left a comment:**

draco. you love us so shut up and accept what we're telling you

**@.dracomalfoys has left a comment:**

you know what, astoria? shut the hell up

**@.thebettergreengrass left a comment**

for once, i agree with ‘storia, draco.

**@.gingingingers h** **as left a comment:**

_@.parkinsonpansy_


End file.
